I am a Mom in my mid-30’s. I live in Virginia with my husband of 11 years and our 3 beautiful children ages 10, 6 and 4. My husband is a good man, but he is in recovery (alcohol, weed and painkillers). My oldest child is autistic and I wouldn’t want him any other way. He’s the kindest and the most empathetic person I have known. His little brother and sister are also as kind and caring.
I am very lucky to be their mommy. My life is messy and beautiful. It has been full with intense emotional experiences but it is my only thing I have and I wouldn’t trade it for any other.
As a wife of an alcoholic, I found myself being extremely preoccupied with my husband’s behaviors and problems. I tried to fix them, to no avail. I ended up doing more harm than good. It took me years to realize that as much as I want the best for him, I can not change him. I can not force my way into his. And at the end of the day, it ends up creating more harm than good. Add in the stress of raising 3 young children, and working full-time, then you get overwhelmed, frustrated, hopeless and gradually lose your sense of being.
I had felt like this for years until i reached my rock bottom early this year. My husband and I can still love and support each other, without crossing each other’s boundaries. I take responsibilities for my actions and he takes responsibilities for his.
It is time I take better care of myself, emotionally, mentally and physically. It is time I start to live again.